Im listening to "white flag" by Dido. Old school, yeah i know. unlike this song though i am not putting my hands up in surrender. The only reason these hands come up is if I'm fixing my hair, dancing, or praising God.
The oddest thing happened today, well i am very intuitive and i get a feeling when something is going to happen to someone i care about. I thought it was odd at first but i like the heads up. Well the feeling was right but i don't want to put any ones business out there.
Well anyhow, I have been seriously thinking about everything, and i mean everything. I move next week and so that's gonna be fun! (not) I get Kim though and that balances it all out.
Since my thinking here is what i have decided:
1) I am going to be nice to Chris no matter how bad he treats me. It will be the ultimate "turn the other cheek" but i think that it would definitely make me a stronger person.
2) i will tell you number 2 at a later date...
3) i am going to begin reading my bible everyday NO MATTER WHAT. This will require lots of dedication and persistence but i believe it can be done.
4) i will never again text on a date. i still feel bad about doing that!
5) I will help my sister because i can see how hard she is trying so hard and i love her millions.
I walked across an empty path/ i knew the land well like the back of my hand.
-Keane "somewhere only we know"
These are my 5 declarations.
and i will be trying so hard to keep up with them.
I am fervent in my faith and i feel that no matter what it will sustain me.
Life is beautiful. The thought of it, the people you come in contact with and make connections with.
I love the thought of making someones day better by just a smile. I smile all day everyday because its one of the best things i have been blessed with.
A smile is contagious, i have seen these things.
Its the funniest thing because i have met so many people who don't see any optimism in life because they have been through so much.
I think that is an excuse to be angry. I have been through almost everything from neglect, abuse, disownment..and the list goes on..
Do i carry a chip on my shoulder? NO.
Does the world owe me any compensation or pity for my pain? NO.
Everything i went through made me who i am now.
It may not have been so wonderful when i was going through it but in the end, God brought me out of it. He is still bringing me out of things, I don't blame God I thank him because He is using me for His purpose for something so much bigger than just me, and i love that.
Well that's all i got tonight.
Night love. God Bless. =)
Crystal
